The evils of Benadryl

This morning I woke up with hives on my hand, don't ask why because I don't remember being allergic to anything but sometimes when I'm stressed I get hives and with AP tests coming up that is a possibility. So I cant find any anti-histamines at my house and when I get to school I ask around and get 2 of the little pink pills (benadryl). So then I started feeling better and my hand wasn't itching but I started to get sleepy. I slept for 15 minutes in AP Bio, then I was so tired that I went downstairs to the bad room and slept for the whole 72 minutes in a practice room instead of going to French. So now I'm in band and this is the only thing I can do to not fall asleep because of the stupid benadryl. I need to get an energy drink or something and I already ate my lunch too. Oh, and I fell and landed on my bracelet so now my hand has a nasty bruise and a cut in it but I can't focus but I need to because next hour I have AP History then AP English and I should really be awake for that. Holy moly am I tired. I can't even type my normal speed because I can't focus. Oh Benadryl I hate you so!

Frankly my dear, I just don't give a damn!

So I've been doing some thinking on why we do the things we do in life, in love, in friendships. Why do we seem to work at trying to make things more complicated. Like Scarlett we lie and cheat and steal, but do we have to? For example does Lane have to be so possesive of Peter and then write me little notes about her worries with him and Elizabeth when I told her their relationship was not a good idea after the first break up. And does Elizabeth need to ask me about what's going on with Peter and Lane and what is Lane saying about her and why is Peter ignoring her... in the words of Rhett Butler "I don't give a damn." But I'm nice and semi helpful when called upon by my peers and Elizabeth seems down so we might have a Gone With the Wind party on the 13th after AP tests are over but who really knows. I mean we are on again off again friends because a couple of times I had to pull her knife out of my back but she has also been there for me when I needed someone, and after this year we'll prbably never see eachother again and the girl has a movie theater in her basement. And she said "Julia, you know you've always been my rock." It might be complete bullshit but it was a nice gesture. So am I like Scarlett? Maybe, I do lie and cheat and steal to get what I want and like Scarlett sometimes it ends badly for me but doesn't it for every one. Is Peter cheating (proverbially of course) is Elizabeth stealing (man wise) and are we all liars. The key is we will never know. I can only hope that watching that movie twice a year will help me learn from and avoid Scarlett's biggest mistake settling for wanting Ashley when she really had Rhett and losing him in the fog.

Earth

Today I watched the movie Earth with my family and I'm glad I did because it was beautiful. The scenes captured were amazing and it just goes to show you the wonder of our planet. It also amazed me how familial the animals were and so protective of their young, animals are so much smarter than we gove them credit for. Next Earth Day they are coming out with an oceans movie and I will definately watch that because hopefully it will be as mesmerizing as this one was. I feel so blessed to live in the most beautiful place in the universe. I never knew that in the middle of the desert in Congo the water runoff creates a huge oasis that goes on for miles, or that the Demoiselle cranes have the most difficult migration of any animal when the cross the Himalayas from Mongolia to India, or that the caribou have the greatest migration (in number) of 3 million and the longest sea migration is done by the humpback whale. It's just amazing I am again very glad I got to watch that movie

a CRUSH-ing blow

I am going to go on a rant now so if you're not ready then get... So this orange crush thing was a stupid ass idea and this is why: 1. we made like no money because AY did no rrsearch with the cost 2. Bill Sarah and I wasted a shit ton of time running around. 3. Not that many people bought them 4. AY usually has bad ideas for fund raisers and last but not least 5. They were also Couetney's idea and I don't like that she is vying for the captain-cy while I am still head of this team.

I hope we can still go to Mackinac.

scholastic slap in the face

So I just took my placements exams for MSU in math and Spanish...story of my life. I do the best possible in Spanish, even though it doesn't matter because I got a 5 on the AP test and I do the shittiest possible in math, but oh well. At least I don't have to worry about my math class next year. Though now I regret not having taken a math class as a senior, but with math this year I would have probably gone suicidal. I just wonder how my schedule is going to be next year, I just have to wait till july 22/23 to see. Oh college, so close yet so far away.

singing in the rain...

I was almost jealous of Jake when he told me he was in Orlando but the truth is that eventhough it's raining here, and it's not so bad. I love it when it rains because the sky gets that pretty periwinkle color and it is half sunny and half dark. Every color is so bright, the greens are greener, browns browner. When I move away from here I don't know if I will ever find a place like this...almost human with moods changing and the smell of rain. Oh and I think the baby hawks are hatching, I heard them, I'm so excited

RAW!!!!!

so my decision is to take this raw thing seriously because I said I would this week and I didn't. So with this post I commence my raw food journal...

Parentae et factotum...

Well, here are the facts... my parents especially my mother like to control every single move I make. And today when I really complained about it and made a little bit of a scene I get blamed for everything and my dad is like "well, just leave and go to LCC or something and I know he is just saying shit because he's mad. But seriously there is a magnifying glass on me at all times in this house and my mom said it wouldn't be like this next year but I se now she's lying, she's so used to controlling everything I do she just doesn't know how to stop and I'm super sick of it. I don't want to be villanized for wanting to have my own life.

My mom tells me stories of more succesful people, people getting more scholarships all these other things and it's just not helpful I can't be deemed responsible for any of my actions if someone is always there to dictate them and then I get told I'm acting like a child.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

at the beginning...

So why even make a blog, I'm really not sure why I'm even doing this. all I know is that I'm bored in band and this seemed fun, it will give me something to do and while I'm at it posterity just might want to know, and even if they don't this is just in case.

Soon I'll have to go to AP History but I really don't want to. I just want AP tests to be here and over so I can relax and not worry about anything, which is the opposite of my life right now but I only have 13 days until my 1st AP test so soon I can do what I want.

Speaking of what I want it will be nice on Saturday and I want to tan, so I will lay out on my deck and soak up the sun. Well off to class now!